I feel for you man… I feel for you :’/
Lol I have literally seen this ad in town with my Dad and I was like ‘Ha! Touche, I see what you did there’s
I’m determined to lose weight! I did some squats which were painful and I almost blacked out but it’s fine I was okay after resting… apart from the fact that my legs now hurt when I bend down and go up and down the stairs but hopefully I’ll be fine haha :D
I’ve started to eat more healthily as well with more fruit and vegetables so hopefully I’ll be as skinny as I can be… miracles happen right?
Haha we shall see.
So yeah… er… hi! Like I mentioned before I’m trying to blog more often and now here’s my random post for todayish because it’s nearly midnight.
So basically what’s happening tomorrow is that my ex-bestfriend is coming over to my house and I’m feeling a mixture of emotions because we’ve not spoken face to face for a while yet and I’m kind of scared of meeting her.
I’ve known her since Y5 (5th grade) and throughout high school we’ve been friends until the last year when she had enough of my obsession of studying and wanting to do well at school. Now that I look I realised that I’ve lost such an important friend for some first place trophy that I’ll eventually have time give back to the school anyway. I’m thinking now whether this short term positive was worth giving up a life long friend.
I remember a few days prior to our fall out she asked me a question:
‘If you could choose to either have your dream job and be successful or don’t get to successful but living with me, what would you choose?’ she told me to give an honest answer and that she wouldn’t mind what what answer I gave her.
That question was truly difficult but of course me being myself I chose to be successful which was selfish and I knew deep down she felt hurt by this choice. A few days later we broke off our friendship but it wasn’t purely because of my selfish choice - there were other factors as well.
You see she was also friends with my younger sister as well. They were both very good at drawing and making clever animations as well which, I suppose, made me jealous of my sister because they had more things in common and I always felt like the boring leftover who couldn’t really so the things they could. After a while I started to push her away because I kept thinking she didn’t want my company she just wanted to talk my sister. She had enough of me pushing her away and using studying as an excuse, so we broke off our relation as bestfriends to a relation of people on distant terms. We didn’t avoid each other like others did but we didn’t speak properly neither. I put up a strong face pretending that I was not hurt and that it didn’t affect me in the slightest but the loneliness did begin to seep in and I was beginning miss our time as bestfriends.
She flourished with a larger friendship group outside and I was left behind inside with a few if not no one to call a real friend. I knew people found me boring and quiet but I couldn’t help it. My final year in high school was difficult but I’m glad it was over and done with.
Nowadays we barely contact each other, she’s gone her separated way and I’ve gone mine. When she does make contact she usually only messages my sister on YouTube or deviantart. Surprisingly, she sent me a birthday wish, although a couple days late, but all the same I was happy and a couple weeks after I asked her about how we could return a her book back to her and she replied that she wanted to meet up again in person which made me happy but anxious at the same time because we’ve not spoken face to face for quite a while.
I’ve just got a message saying she’s sick and can’t come so I guess I’m left with more time to think about this.
What I’ve written is quite a condense version of what really happened but if I wrote anymore then I’m afraid it will take me all night to write it! So bye for now :D